Dealing with Negative Thought-Vortices

Taught another bajillion lessons today, video and in person.  I was struck by how many of my students were repeating the same thought-mistakes. Self-doubt, anxiety, fixation on certain problems or aspects of the test–you name it, I saw it today.  And what do all of these negative thought-vortices have in common?  They all result from a basic inability to control one's emotions.  Emotions simply cannot result in anything good on test day. Whether positive or negative, they deprive you of energy, focus, time—not a good thing.  People might argue, hey, a healthy confidence is great to have on test day.  But I have found that is simply not the case.  A "healthy confidence" can make you much more ripe for making all kinds of careless errors. Also, if you're busy exuding your "healthy confidence," and you get to a surprisingly difficult question or group, you might feel that confidence crumble into another emotional state far worse than that.  But if you have practiced the art of "showing no emotion," then you don't have to busy yourself exuding anything.  You calmly make your way through the test, and when you get to something you cannot do, hey, no problem, you go around it, you eliminate and guess, save it for later–you have options, none of which are apparent if you're overcome by some emotion.

No one is ever going to make a movie about the "world's greatest standardized test takers" because when we test, we are as boring as watching paint dry. Seriously.  We are not "fun to watch" because we do not display any visible "emotions" of any kind.  Example: if I encounter a difficult math problem, and I'm getting pretty far into some analysis, I will look up from my work, realize that I must have missed the shortcut, and calmly leave that problem alone for a few minutes, while I work on the next one or two.  Upon returning to the vexing problem, I am almost always able to see the shortcut right away. 

None of this would be possible if I could not control my emotions while test taking.  Which I do, of course, using my amazing Mike Technique, as outlined here, by a semi-frantic version of myself. Enjoy.

Photo ID! is coming!

So the SAT & ACT are moving to requiring photo ID's to test. Which is fine with me, but the method whereby they determine that it's really you--i.e., you are required to send in a photo in advance, and then (ostensibly) you get to the test, they have that photo, and they compare you to the photo and decide if you look enough like your former self to sit for the test.

My only question is (and I'm sure this is the same question that 65% of people asked when they heard about this): what's preventing you from sending in a photo of someone else when you sign up, and then sending that person to take the test for you? I guess nothing, except for the fact that this would require a level of planning and effort that would be much much better applied to, perhaps, studying for the test instead. So there's that.

So a photo seems like a fine demand–I can already see all the pain this is going to inflict in terms of "additional & unnecessary logistical requirements." Kids who forgot their IDs, kids who don't look like their photos, schools that never got the pictures (or got the wrong pictures), etc. But beefing up security is good if it works...here's to hoping. I'll make sure to head over to Costco and get a really nice, thoroughly insane passport photo I can submit with my registration for the October 2012 SAT.

Skype & Gratitude

Tutored a bazillion students today, both live & in person, and far away via video. It's quite the smashing-headlong-into-the-future experience, I must say. I'm developing a toolkit of tricks that make the video sessions much easier and more productive: I take screenshots of the student's problem-index-cards (their "don't know" pile for the week) when they hold their cards up to the webcam. We then work on the problem together: I talk them through it, and they write the explanation on their card. Best part is that I catalog every screenshot I take. I then have a super-convenient way to review every card they've asked me to explain. Ultro-fantastic, from a tutoring perspective.

A thought occurs: gratitude is the root of all happiness. Without it, there is no satisfaction in anything. Gratitude will make you a better person, and it will also (of course) make you a better test taker! How? Gratitude brings happiness, and happiness brings calm and focus. Most importantly, happiness helps insulate you from insane flights of test anxiety. I am inferring on a titanic scale here, it is true. But it is also true that everyone, but everyone, could use a bit more gratitude. So be thankful!

I am thankful that I am able to do something that I love for a living. Loving what you do makes you obsessed with always being better at it–this creates a virtuous cycle of learning that both student and teacher participate in. I've loved tutoring since I started in 1989, and I continue to learn so much from it. Thanks to...everybody, the Universe, but especially thanks to my students: you are the real teachers, and the promise of tomorrow.

Just took the ACT

Just took the ACT at Livingston High School a few hours ago. Step 2 of my insane plan to reveal the truth about the SAT & ACT essays went well: I wrote a completely bonkers over-the-top essay about (among other things) a singularly dystopian view of the future. My hypothesis is simple: the SAT & ACT essay graders, for the most part, do not actually read the essays they're supposed to be grading.

My essay ended with the line (if I remember correctly) "God Bless America, and any other countries for sure, if there even ARE any." So we'll see how that goes. On the March SAT essay, I asked the eternal question, "And once this most basic of all requirements for learning, progress and advancement is removed, what then? Would the very fabric of society not start to unravel, much like the time-space continuum in just over 43% of episodes of star-trek-related franchises?"

Separately, I mused, "And what is it if it is not our very problem-solving abilities that separate us from animals that cannot remember their most recent mistakes and therefore learn from them--such as the badger, goldfish, yeti, and soon-forgetting tree sloth? Nothing, that's what."

Wish me luck!

Tomorrow morning: Breakfast! And then the ACT of course....

Wow, realizing that it's way way too late to be writing this and not immediately going to sleep, in that I have to be up at 6 (maybe earlier) to catch breakfast with another tutor (the inestimable Josh Kutchai) and then take the ACT. At Livingston High School. For reals.

Peace out, cub scout. I'm going to bed. I might shave my head in the garage first, but immediately after that, bed.